"If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't get married."
As I listened to these words, my heart sank. An acquaintance of mine was expressing her frustrations over her shattered dream of marriage.
"Don't get married Sara; stay single."
Once again, the words stung me. I've always heard stories of young couples who "wake up" to find that marriage isn't as wonderful as they dreamed it would be. And how many times have I heard the same old line about the honeymoon finally being over? I've always been a more romantic person, and so hearing words like this sadden me. What's the point of getting married if only disappointment lies ahead?
It doesn't have to be this way.
Some days I struggle being content in my singleness, while other days I enjoy the blessings singleness can bring. However, I truly do believe a person can look forward to marriage and be happy in it. Happy only if he or she has a foundation and cornerstone like no other: Jesus Christ. Without Christ in our lives, we are only living for ourselves. So of course married couples who do not have this cornerstone come to a point in their relationships where they are unhappy and discontent. Here is what one of my favorite authors, Leslie Ludy, has to say on the matter.
"It's true that newlyweds can take unhealthy expectations into marriage. When we expect our spouses to meet needs that only Christ can meet, we will be disappointed. But here is the crucial truth we must realize: If we allow our marriages to be a beautiful outflow of a passionate relationship with Christ, we will never be disillusioned. A marriage that keeps Christ at the center only gets more amazing with time.
If you ever catch yourself "putting off" happiness until you finally get married or thinking that when you finally meet your spouse all of your dreams will be fulfilled, that's a sign that Christ hasn't fully captured your heart. If Jesus Christ isn't enough right now, then He won't be enough after marriage either." (Excerpts from Set-Apart Femininity)
Girls, let's prepare for marriage by allowing Christ to captivate our hearts. We can truly experience an amazing love story right now if we would only cultivate a "romance" with Christ. In doing so, we will not only experience great peace and satisfaction, but we will be preparing ourselves for beautiful, God-glorifying marriages!
The Sacred Ardor of Femininity- My Prayer
"I acknowledge the sacred ardor of set-apart femininity. I understand that to truly love my future husband well, I must love him with the very love of Christ. As Christ loved me and gave Himself for me, I will seek to sacrificially love and serve my future husband, both now and after marriage. Rather than fighting for my own needs and rights, my goal will be to lay my life down on behalf of my spouse. And even if no earthly love story comes my way, it will be my supreme joy and privilege to serve others and wash their feet, doing for others what Christ has done for me. I acknowledge this sacred ardor and commit, by the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, to seek the fulfillment of this high calling." - from Set-Apart Femininity